Chapter 357 - Fearful Anticipation

She fears tomorrow. No medications from midnight tonight. Last meds at 2200 and I will remove the Apo pump and infusion by 2400. For tomorrow she is to appear at a 9am meeting with neuros at the West Beer Hospital. We are to be collected by a Wild Dog vehicle at 0600. She imagines herself to be immovable by that time; worried that I will be unable to get her into the car and out at the other end, some two and a bit hours later, depending on fog and peak hour traffic. After searching this blog I just told her that she had an overnight drug holiday prior to being tested for Apomorphine (a year ago this week) and I don't remember her being unusually immobile that Tuesday morning in the Hot Air City hospital. Wild Dog have loaned us a small wheelchair for the day because she decided that neither her walker or wheelchair were satisfactory.

Also on her mind has been her feet, especially the left which is twisting inwards more than ever, and she has wondered whether the tingling, burning, twisting, loss of feeling to external contact has been caused by the Apomorphine. To put her at ease I searched back through this blog, finding that toes were curling in February 2006, "can't connect with feet" 2006, "left foot arching" December 2012, "left foot turns inwards" and "feet tingling" March 2013. So the twisting, burning, tingling, loss of sensation yet painful to bumps are progressions not identified to Apo. My blog is poor record keeping perhaps, yet a word search does provide some historical answers.

Last Sunday she woke confused which end of her bed was top and bottom and which buttons controlled their positions. Prior to Wild Dog care person arriving she said both feet were extra painful and tingling. She often says that she cannot tell when her feet are on the floor, there is no sensation. That evening we were both tired and distressed attempting to fit her night time absorbent pants. Next morning she was in a bad way; at first she did not wish to get onto the commode, her left foot was very twisted (dystonic??), no pains in her legs unless she moved, but a pain began on the top of her left foot. After I showered and she had her 0600 meds, still in bed, she wanted me to call for an ambulance because she said she was unable to move. By 0650 the pain in the top of her left foot was intense and both feet were tingling madly. She was somewhat  better when I changed the Apo pump at 0740. Because I had come down with "Man Flu" she did not go to respite at Wild Dog on Tuesday. The Visiting Physio put her through exercises at lunch time on Wednesday and Friday. She was very sore after the first sessions the previous week but she has not commented this week. She attended Wild Dog respite yesterday, Saturday as usual.

I still fear she is having spatial/orientation difficulties with her fabric work, at the moment decorating hand towels, although she says her sluggish hands make mistakes that need to be corrected or complete pulling apart to begin again. Perhaps. She is unable to remember the names of the care ladies from Wild Dog; she says I see their name badges when I open the door to them each morning, but then so does she for 20-30 minutes while they shower and dress her. Some 7 or 8 appear regularly and after several months even I know them by name (well, most often I do).

I have been printing Duodopa references for her and will download some YouTube videos for her to watch. So that she knows what the experts may suggest tomorrow.