Chapter 351 - Decisions
My 93 year old Mother died last Monday up in Cane Toad country. Her funeral is this coming Tuesday. I had intended to go. Even checked out the respite facilities at Wild Dog last Thursday. I almost committed to placing her there for two nights next week while I drove and flew up north. But by Friday morning early I decided against attending the funeral, even though I am the eldest issue and for some unknown reason I was named executor in the will, an honour and obligation I can do without.
The respite accommodation was excellent, she is familiar with Wild Dog for that is where she spends 2 days each week in respite and the Personal Care ladies come from there as well, yet she voiced concerns about her ability to manage herself in the room's en-suite. Yes there are bars on the walls and plenty of space, the bed is similar to hers at home. No bidet of course, a most important consideration for someone unable to lift her bottom sufficiently to wipe herself. At present we are having difficulty making her nappy night-time bloomers water tight (perhaps nursing staff don't have that problem); an embarrassment for someone whose childhood was marred by bed wetting, having to wash her own sheets and hanging them on the clothesline before going to school. Then we found that I needed to give the nursing staff a demonstration on setting up the Apo pump (not giving her confidence in their knowledge and ability, although I think that is unfair) and a letter from our GP detailing her medications; neither presenting any difficulties. Of course, surprise was registered when the word "Apomorphine" was uttered, words of explanation and inspection of the fine print of the leaflet in the ampoule package were required. However, she lacks confidence that nursing staff will be able to safely set up the Apo pump, having seen only one nurse at the local hospital attempt the task and fail and at another hospital when nurses were otherwise occupied when the pump ran out. No great barriers to a couple of days and nights in respite you may say. Of course not. However, I have spent over 50 years sharing my life with this woman but only my first 15 years with my Mother followed by arms-length contact ever since. I have shed no tear, neither physically nor emotionally. Perhaps you will say that I am in denial. Someone, a long time ago, said "Let the dead bury the dead".
I made very few notes this week. She often asks for cardigan or poncho; her system seems to swing towards being colder than expected, even when a room is warm. She attended a "Xmas in July" lunch on Monday before I took her to the Imaging place for an ultra-sound on her left leg; the results indicated nothing wrong (as far as the operator could tell) except that the tremors in her feet made measurements in her lower legs virtually impossible.
Several times this week she has forgotten to take meds on time and once she took her 6am meds at 2am. There has been almost no mention of tingling in her feet, definitely no burning sensations.
She is making fancy wash bags for sale at Wild Dog. Quite often on a morning she complains that what was hand sewn very slowly the afternoon before must be picked apart next morning to make corrections. Even so, she perseveres; good therapy for her, encouraged by the staff at Wild Dog.
The respite accommodation was excellent, she is familiar with Wild Dog for that is where she spends 2 days each week in respite and the Personal Care ladies come from there as well, yet she voiced concerns about her ability to manage herself in the room's en-suite. Yes there are bars on the walls and plenty of space, the bed is similar to hers at home. No bidet of course, a most important consideration for someone unable to lift her bottom sufficiently to wipe herself. At present we are having difficulty making her nappy night-time bloomers water tight (perhaps nursing staff don't have that problem); an embarrassment for someone whose childhood was marred by bed wetting, having to wash her own sheets and hanging them on the clothesline before going to school. Then we found that I needed to give the nursing staff a demonstration on setting up the Apo pump (not giving her confidence in their knowledge and ability, although I think that is unfair) and a letter from our GP detailing her medications; neither presenting any difficulties. Of course, surprise was registered when the word "Apomorphine" was uttered, words of explanation and inspection of the fine print of the leaflet in the ampoule package were required. However, she lacks confidence that nursing staff will be able to safely set up the Apo pump, having seen only one nurse at the local hospital attempt the task and fail and at another hospital when nurses were otherwise occupied when the pump ran out. No great barriers to a couple of days and nights in respite you may say. Of course not. However, I have spent over 50 years sharing my life with this woman but only my first 15 years with my Mother followed by arms-length contact ever since. I have shed no tear, neither physically nor emotionally. Perhaps you will say that I am in denial. Someone, a long time ago, said "Let the dead bury the dead".
I made very few notes this week. She often asks for cardigan or poncho; her system seems to swing towards being colder than expected, even when a room is warm. She attended a "Xmas in July" lunch on Monday before I took her to the Imaging place for an ultra-sound on her left leg; the results indicated nothing wrong (as far as the operator could tell) except that the tremors in her feet made measurements in her lower legs virtually impossible.
Several times this week she has forgotten to take meds on time and once she took her 6am meds at 2am. There has been almost no mention of tingling in her feet, definitely no burning sensations.
She is making fancy wash bags for sale at Wild Dog. Quite often on a morning she complains that what was hand sewn very slowly the afternoon before must be picked apart next morning to make corrections. Even so, she perseveres; good therapy for her, encouraged by the staff at Wild Dog.
posted by Kilpike | 10:15 am
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