Chapter 132 - Grumpy Old Fart

A couple of days ago we went shopping. Firstly through Kmart where we found clothes hangers on the shelf that she had placed on a rain-check weeks ago, a pair of slippers & a pair of shoes (well, those complicated looking runner things) for me and an impulse bought $55 exercise bike that will take several hours to assemble for her. I asked them about replacing the gas springs on the stepper bought months ago that is too strong for her to use - no luck. Then to Coles to buy a few items plus some because friends from Hot Air City were to visit next day. She stood up quite well to all this, pushing the trolley while I pulled it, stood in line at the checkout while an old duck never stopped yacking to the check-out kid, walked off talking & left one of her bags behind. By the time we returned home I was literally stuffed & expressed my feelings, obviously showing signs of stress & weariness. Packing & unpacking $200 worth of food items half a dozen times (you count the handlings from the supermarket shelves to home in the cupboard) is too much for an aging bloke! I was tired & irritable. Actually, it should be getting easier since the quantity is less these days for a given $200. Anyway the foregoing waffle is just to indicate the way we are beginning to think about our futures, for although she went to bed at 10:30pm she was unable to sleep so rose & watched a movie until after 2:30am. She told me next morning that thoughts of what will happen to her should I take sick or worse kept her awake, tending to bring on panic attack symptoms. I must admit similar thoughts are in my mind those mornings when I rescue her bent over, wet, in the bathroom after a shower, or in the middle of the darkness when she is unable to struggle out of bed for an urgent loo visit.

Our Hot Air City friends came with acquaintances from over west on a year-long van trip around the country. Although we were somewhat stressed tidying the house and doing some food preparation we shared an enjoyable day with them.

On Monday last she had another assessment to attend the re-instituted "falls" group at the local hospital. She was the only person in 2 days to turn up for an assessment so I wonder whether the group will actually start. Next Monday week we were told.

I have not suggested the treadmill again. The last time she performed some of the private physio's stretch exercises she had tingling sensations around the back of her head, concluding in a pain over one eye, so I have not encouraged her to try again just yet and I don't think she ever tries to do stretches while I'm out the back here in my dungeon. The "panic attack" book she ordered, after the physio gave her a copy of a page from it, arrived - at the front of the book is a warning that reading the book may initiate symptoms and gives methods to overcome them. I have yet to look at it.

Lately she has been walking better. Last night when we walked up to the hall to collect our mail we were nearly run over by one of our geriatric neighbours cutting the corner onto our side of our narrow street, even though there was a street light about 20 metres behind us. His car passed me with a few centimetres to spare. I hope she didn't meditate too much last night on that being a good way for her to lose the use of her carer.

I must check on her, probably still in bed and then proceed to assemble the new exercise bike.