Chapter 129 - Boiling a Frog Alive
Sudden changes are easier to cope with. The gradual nature of the problem is very deceiving; I wonder whether she is better or worse than she was this day one year ago, three years ........ I could look back through my little notebooks in which I scribble hardly readable notes of my inaccurately recorded impressions of her condition. Or browse back through this blog that is an interpretation of what I have scribbled. Why bother; I know she is worse, the incremental changes are mostly downhill. Yet without my little notebooks I am unable to remember the short term variations, my memory becomes fog.
So I see on Thursday last that she missed the 2am CR and was in & out of bed between 3:30am and 5:30am while she was having trouble breathing; well, her chest feels tight. Congestion at the back of her nose then she spat out a large glob of phlegm. Meds at 6am so by 7:30am she needed to return to bed. She complained of pain in her left shoulder, her first comment about such pain since she fell last Saturday, so I interrogated her for the "exact" after-effects of the fall - Pain in left shoulder extends up into her neck, bruise on her right hip, sore spot on her left leg now seems to be a small lump. The shoulder makes laying on her left side more difficult than usual. Anyway, to sleep to wake at 10am for meds. She completed her puzzle magazines and wrote several letters by hand (most unexpected, I did not see how clear her writing was, I was tempted to check but that would have been too intrusive). By mid-afternoon she complained of being very stiff.
But she slept well Thursday night to Friday morning, having woken for 2am CR, alarm for 6am and rose at 8:30 when she showered, dried & dressed herself then after breakfast, stripped the beds and completed 2 loads of washing. My assistance was needed of course and I hung things on the line. Things were going so well that when I saw our next door neighbour I invited him & his wife in for afternoon tea. I have been feeling guilty about this because they moved in weeks, maybe 6, ago. Of course, inconsiderate of me, I told her after I had offered the invitation. She was not really looking forward to the social contact. Anyway, I had to vacuum & mop the floors, "do" my bathroom, sweep up leaves on the patio and the like as a penance. Our new neighbours are pleasant people, stayed 2 hours. However, she was stressed with visible tremors by the end of the visit.
So yesterday she rose at 9am, saying that her legs had been "twirling" (a new expression not heard before) all night, her left leg tingles and her hips ache and it seems these symptoms began yesterday afternoon. Around lunchtime I encouraged her to come with me to see a wood work exhibition at the Art Gallery for some 10 minutes (a friend has some work on show). Mid-afternoon her back was "tight", she was tired, so slept for an hour and a half. Then in the evening we enjoyed dinner with our friends around the corner, although later she said flatulence & tremor had bothered her. Late in the night I should have realised she had problems for as I turned off my bedside lamp a quiet "Goodnight" came from her bed. Usually, I read a few pages before falling asleep each night (in bed, not in front of the TV) by which time her gentle breathing indicates she is asleep. Soon after I was asleep she had to sit on the side of her bed; her left shoulder was sore, there was pain in her left arm, excessive flatulence, her feet tingled, the pressure points (sore to touch) at the back of her head ached, then each side of her forehead began to ache. Around midnight she took two Panamax and at 12:45am she brought forward her 2am CR (and this is daylight-saving changeover as well). Still awake, feeling no better, she sat outside in her favourite chair reading until 3am. Her head had been congested but after a good nose blow her condition improved, her head was "freed", her temperature was 36.5 and around 4am she returned to bed until the 6am alarm woke us both. After her meds, her feet would not stay in bed. She said her chest had felt tight all night. Unable to achieve comfort she again returned to her chair. At 7am more Panamax. I gave her breakfast at 7:45 after which she returned to bed and sleep.
Tomorrow, Monday, I will ring for an appointment for her to see the Caring Physician. We are thinking she has been on the verge of panic attacks again, maybe not. When, how soon does one "cry wolf" as a complication creeps up on us?
So I see on Thursday last that she missed the 2am CR and was in & out of bed between 3:30am and 5:30am while she was having trouble breathing; well, her chest feels tight. Congestion at the back of her nose then she spat out a large glob of phlegm. Meds at 6am so by 7:30am she needed to return to bed. She complained of pain in her left shoulder, her first comment about such pain since she fell last Saturday, so I interrogated her for the "exact" after-effects of the fall - Pain in left shoulder extends up into her neck, bruise on her right hip, sore spot on her left leg now seems to be a small lump. The shoulder makes laying on her left side more difficult than usual. Anyway, to sleep to wake at 10am for meds. She completed her puzzle magazines and wrote several letters by hand (most unexpected, I did not see how clear her writing was, I was tempted to check but that would have been too intrusive). By mid-afternoon she complained of being very stiff.
But she slept well Thursday night to Friday morning, having woken for 2am CR, alarm for 6am and rose at 8:30 when she showered, dried & dressed herself then after breakfast, stripped the beds and completed 2 loads of washing. My assistance was needed of course and I hung things on the line. Things were going so well that when I saw our next door neighbour I invited him & his wife in for afternoon tea. I have been feeling guilty about this because they moved in weeks, maybe 6, ago. Of course, inconsiderate of me, I told her after I had offered the invitation. She was not really looking forward to the social contact. Anyway, I had to vacuum & mop the floors, "do" my bathroom, sweep up leaves on the patio and the like as a penance. Our new neighbours are pleasant people, stayed 2 hours. However, she was stressed with visible tremors by the end of the visit.
So yesterday she rose at 9am, saying that her legs had been "twirling" (a new expression not heard before) all night, her left leg tingles and her hips ache and it seems these symptoms began yesterday afternoon. Around lunchtime I encouraged her to come with me to see a wood work exhibition at the Art Gallery for some 10 minutes (a friend has some work on show). Mid-afternoon her back was "tight", she was tired, so slept for an hour and a half. Then in the evening we enjoyed dinner with our friends around the corner, although later she said flatulence & tremor had bothered her. Late in the night I should have realised she had problems for as I turned off my bedside lamp a quiet "Goodnight" came from her bed. Usually, I read a few pages before falling asleep each night (in bed, not in front of the TV) by which time her gentle breathing indicates she is asleep. Soon after I was asleep she had to sit on the side of her bed; her left shoulder was sore, there was pain in her left arm, excessive flatulence, her feet tingled, the pressure points (sore to touch) at the back of her head ached, then each side of her forehead began to ache. Around midnight she took two Panamax and at 12:45am she brought forward her 2am CR (and this is daylight-saving changeover as well). Still awake, feeling no better, she sat outside in her favourite chair reading until 3am. Her head had been congested but after a good nose blow her condition improved, her head was "freed", her temperature was 36.5 and around 4am she returned to bed until the 6am alarm woke us both. After her meds, her feet would not stay in bed. She said her chest had felt tight all night. Unable to achieve comfort she again returned to her chair. At 7am more Panamax. I gave her breakfast at 7:45 after which she returned to bed and sleep.
Tomorrow, Monday, I will ring for an appointment for her to see the Caring Physician. We are thinking she has been on the verge of panic attacks again, maybe not. When, how soon does one "cry wolf" as a complication creeps up on us?
posted by Kilpike | 8:10 am
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