Chapter 214 - Signs

We refer to sitting on the loo, waiting for a bowel movement as "meditating". Each day she feels the need to "go", sitting on her bidet (I use the other bathroom) for 10 to 15 minutes at a time. I'm not sure how often each day she meditates. Last night she told me that she wasn't constipated and when she does pass something then it's soft. I suggested that perhaps her need to meditate is similar to her need to urinate, a frequency incontinence problem. At least with urinating, there is always something to void but with meditating there is no sense of accomplishment when nothing is passed. Unfortunately, the feeling to void anything stresses her; she fears being unable to contain herself and messing herself, so she needs to respond to a false call of nature then is frustrated that an urgent need cannot be satisfied. When I explained to her my thoughts of tremor-like muscular movements in her pelvic region stimulating voiding feelings she raised the matter of her being unable to raise her hips sufficiently to roll over in bed, even though she has her satin add-on in place over the lower sheet. In thinking about it, rolling over in bed requires me to apply force from my arms & legs while arching my back at the same time; so what seems to be a simple procedure to me must be beyond her co-ordination. So when she is unable rotate her body by pulling/pushing herself by grasping the bed-poles on each side and grasping the monkey bar above her head she then needs to get out of bed & back in again.

I woke early this morning, about 4:30, unable to sleep, the above thoughts going around in my mind, so I left her CB radio beside her pillow & tip-toed out here at 6:00. She just came to the door, time for her first dose of pills, she says she will stay up as well.

On Monday up to the usual club to meet with Ugly Sisters to celebrate a birthday. One said "She seems much worse today." "Why?" "There are a lot more tremors." What can I say? How do I explain that's just the tip of the iceberg? She says that if it was simply tremors then she could easily cope. Anyway, she enjoyed the day, although she later said she had been able to cope because we were with her sisters; any one else a different matter.

We attended a lunch at the village hall on Wednesday to celebrate the national day. We took her collapsible walker so that she was able to sit on it at the table; a little more comfortable for her not to be clamped into position by the heavy chairs.

On Thursday up the country road for a Bowen session. Less aches after this time. We went to the club for lunch before seeing "The King's Speech". So a full day for her and she wasn't very comfortable in the evening.

Friday an hour & a half from our appointment time we left the doctor's. She asked & was given a prescription for Sifrol ER, the slow release version. She hopes this may iron out some of her on/off fluctuations. At least she will only need to take one of these each day; plus her other meds of course. Our chemist has never dispensed Sifrl ER so she needs to wait until after the weekend to use it.

I have suffered sciatic problems in my left hip & leg this past week, due to sitting too long in my office chair in this dungeon. I should have had a Bowen session. Anyway, the pain in my hip when attempting to assist her rise from chairs, getting off the loo, adjusting her clothing, completing tasks for her has been excruciating at times. Makes me realise how vulnerable we are. On Friday I attempted to arrange another ACAT assessment but after 10 minutes on a phone queue I gave up. I will try again on Monday.