Chapter 51 - Dancing in the Dark

I woke to find her sitting on the side of her bed, shoes on her feet, needing to walk the house. Before dawn, I don't remember the time. Her legs were frozen (in PD terms). Out of bed myself I helped her stand. We stood there between our two beds, arms around each other; lovers in a lane. She was unable to walk; both feet stuck to the floor. I swayed her a little, I twisted her body a little, attempting to initiate movement in her legs. "I'm going to fall. I'm too heavy for you to support" she cried. I wanted her to turn for her to get back into bed. I tapped her foot with mine. No reaction. A hesitant dancer. "I can't connect with my feet." Some more swaying and tapping. One foot came free; I was almost sure I heard the sound of a foot being pulled out of a bog. Gradually we turned, one faltering step after another. I struggled to raise her right knee onto her bed (this is the way she usually does it), her leg was almost rigid, afraid to leave the floor. "I still have my shoes on" as I toppled her onto her bed then removed them. "My legs are straight." Both of her legs were "springy" (I can't think of a better word) as I attempted to bend them. Just like a thin branch on a tree; able to be bent yet on release returns to its former shape. After several attempts I was able to position both legs suitable for her comfort.

This last week she has been very stiff. She calls frequently for assistance to rise from a chair. Last Monday - Tuesday she developed a pain in her left groin and into her hip. Late Tuesday afternoon, thinking a walk around the village might help, we set off sedately, slowing as we completed the circle back to the house. I was afraid she may not make it back. We called our Bowen lady who said to come straight away. Thankfully she is so close and readily available. Over the next few days a little soreness remained. Just think, the average GP would have prescribed pain killers.

Last evening I found some down-loadable PD videos and was struggling with the non-intuitive download procedures of Google's video viewer when she appeared distraught at my dungeon door. She had been calling me on the CB for help to rise from her chair. I had not heard over the noises coming from the speakers. Since the material was PD related I did not feel as guilty as if I had been listening to folk music from Radio Ulster. She had scrambled to her feet by using the latch on the sliding door near the chair where she most often sits, but that had taken a lot of effort and stress.

She is stopping the StillNox, not to be used long term for sleep. Last night her feet were very cold going to bed, needed a pair of my socks and her little heated seed pillow. I think she needs more PD meds, she remembers panic attacks of a year ago. She is attempting to limit the regular anti-depressant prescribed ages ago by a neurologist, mainly to help her sleep he had said. A certain government department requires a medical report on her condition by next week so we have an appointment with her caring physician later this week when we can discuss all these matters. Not a neurologist but he listens and cares.