Chapter 482 - In the Doldrums

I find I am depressed, have a feeling of dread, each day until I sum up the courage to complete tasks I avoid or postpone each day. For instance, initiating phone calls, any phone calls at any time, which is strange since when I left school 60 years ago I joined the national telephone provider (years before the words "communications" and "electronics" were in vogue). Anyway, yesterday I was asked why my VOIP phone always responded with a busy tone to callers. I had wondered why there had been no calls or messages to it during the past week; the base station was hung in a state that required power recycling. So I rang a cousin with whom I regularly talk and then rang a friend who pranged his Cruiser a few days ago. Feeling self-righteously better, I began typing this blurb.

Last Wednesday we were driven to the PD clinic at the Repat Hospital in Big Smoke. We spoke to a Physio, an OT and a Speech Pathologist, all very helpful people. Matters that came up in discussion were as follows:

Keep the footplates on her wheel chairs to limit her right foot dropping.
Use her pedal machine in active mode rather than passive.
Use low foam toothpaste.
Use a toothbrush with a suction action.
Read aloud, loudly.
Use a wrist brace with a support metal bar on her right arm to combat Carpel Tunnel issues which               may be what she experienced the morning I thought she was having a TIA.
A "Squattie Pottie" may help at the toilet to provide a better posture during bowel actions.
Poor hydration may be the cause of marbles rather than well formed stools.

I am encouraging her to drink more water and I bought a filtered jug with a volume scale on its side.
Also one wrist brace with a metal bar insert. For several days this has been on her right wrist (the arm that tingles a lot) but this morning she placed it on her left wrist because that arm ached. So I'll buy another of these so both wrists can be supported (only $49.50 each).

At the follow-up visit to the cardiologist on Friday she was told that she has minor leaks at her heart valves and her pulse occasionally showed an extra beat. He said, if we really wanted, a scan from a device positioned down her throat and an MRI may reveal problems but at this time he didn't think it worthwhile. We declined. I read his comments as "At your age you are doing very well".

On returning home from the cardiologist she urgently needed the loo but had an "accident". After a shower and a change of clothes she went to bed and slept for more than an hour. I will no longer give her prunes juice as suggested by our GP!

A few days ago she began knitting some small item of baby clothing for later in the year. She cast on stitches several times and even stitched a couple of rows but I saw this morning that the stitches were undone and the wool rolled into a ball again. She made a number of attempts to stitch the cuffs on one pair of my trousers and I was happy to wear them after the last attempt but then she realised that the stitching was far from straight so pulled it apart. She then began incorporating some lace into the effort about which I did not understand the reasoning. Several times the sewing machine was maladjusted, breaking at least three needles. Her sewing days are over. So so sad.

Chapter 481 - Looking Forward

I should look forward rather than dwelling on the recent past which is so depressing in this rut that we are living. In the few minutes since writing that first sentence I have hung out a load of washing, began another, put her sewing machine back together after she disassembled part of it last night due to some mysterious problem and tried to discourage her from rearranging the upper shelving in our bedroom wardrobe; she was looking for a box to place the incontinence supplies in, although I want them easily accessible so that I do not have to search for them each morning and night and anyway, each plastic bag of the items only lasts a few days. She has a mania for placing objects in plastic boxes, small and large, whether food stuffs, clothes, sewing stuff.

The shortening of the legs of pairs of my trousers is still not complete; she keeps wanting to use the pair I wear most these days as a template for the length of the others even though I stood on a chair ages ago for her to pin the cuffs at the appropriate length. I fear she will begin to adjust the leg length of those as well because she often says they are too long as well. She is now cleaning out and sorting hand bags in the wardrobe. Within the hour the exercise person from Wild Dog will be here so that will be the end of the morning, but at least that will distract her from her current pointless activities. Meanwhile I have more washing to hang on the line.

Yesterday we shopped for a few things at Bunnings, then I took her to what was once her favourite clothing shop, Millers, but she bought nothing. Then to the other shopping centre where we lunched, then to Kmart where again she bought nothing then quickly around Coles where I stocked up on some snacks and fruit juice to take with us on Wednesday when we visit the PD Clinic at the other hospital in Big Smoke. After returning home I was dead tired but she kept waking me by noisily packing and sorting items in the kitchen cupboards. By 1900 she had changed herself into her night attire and decided not to go to bed when the carer from Wild Dog arrived. Then she returned to adjusting the length of my trousers but by 2200 she had removed items from the sewing machine because it "didn't work", she was very distressed and dyskinetic and willing to go to bed.

On the night of Sunday 21st January I must have been tired because I forgot to reduce her Duodopa flow rate from 5.5 to 2.2 mL/hr. The last time I forgot to change the rate she was wildly dyskinetic by 0200 but not this time; only waking me at 0515 when I found her laying across the bed as much as she was able, all "twisted" and stressed. I changed the cassette as usual, left the flow rate at 5.5 and did not administer the Morning Dose. The remainder of the day was not unusual.

Her glaucoma medication Simbrinza was back in stock at the chemist so I discontinued the AZOPT and began applying Simbrinza from the evening of 24th January.

Last Thursday 1st February we needed to sign some SMSF papers so I decided we should have a day out in Hot Air City so Wild Dog arranged transport for us so while there we visited the central shopping centre, had a little lunch then wheeled around several shops but she lacked interest so we came home. That evening her sister and better half had dinner with us then she stayed up after changing into night attire. Next morning they loaded our kitchen table with 7 chairs onto their trailer and returned to Big Smoke. She had been wanting to give away the table for several years; until now I had protested. A pillow was tied onto one of the chairs. She insisted the pillow must be removed; by the time she had done so with the aid of kitchen scissors the thing was a mess, so I placed the remains in the garbage bin. I suspect the observers were somewhat puzzled with her behaviour, especially since another chair with an identical pillow was already on the trailer. She has done something similar with the cylindrical bolsters that were bought with our window drapes many years ago.

A week earlier one of our favourite grand daughters (there are 5 of them) called in to collect the stripped down frame of the chaise lounge that once belonged to her great grandmother. We had once attempted to restore it; it is now in better hands.

My bookings for a motel room and disability equipment in Twin City in a few weeks time have been firmed. I really hope it turns out a holiday for both of us.