Chapter 206 - Too Much Exercise

On Thursday we caught the early train to Big Smoke to attend a Xmas lunch for retirees from a portion of the public service organisation I first worked for way back so long ago. We hummed & harred about attending, making a final decision at 5am when we awoke. She had minimal difficulties rising, showering & getting to the train. At the terminus we had coffee after visiting the disabled loos which were in the process of being reconditioned the last time we were there. They are now a little worse for wear and she found grab rails awkwardly positioned. I was able to use my special key, bought years ago, for the first time. As we walked towards the taxi rank she said " How far is it? we could walk." Well, back when we were teenagers the distance between the railway station (where the country trains terminate) was not too far. Now, walking slowly and taking two longish rests when we found available seats, took us an hour. We could have taken a suburban train through the underground but she is terrified getting on & off trains, that only stop for the minimum time to allow passengers on & off, and she fears stepping across that seemingly enormous gap between train & platform. Anyway, she was in seemingly good condition at the lunch where we met with her cousin (he worked once at the same place) & better half. She enjoyed the mostly vegetable meal I got for her. Two hours later as we left she was obviously not very mobile, almost shuffling. So we hailed a taxi to return to the station with plenty of time to spare. The disabled loos were congested by persons making a convenience ( ;-) of them because the doors had been left unlocked. An uneventful trip home. Friday & Saturday have been torturous for her, Lower back pains and worse, cramps in her left calf. TENS, Circulation Booster & treadmill have eased the pains but she has been very uncomfortable.

Even so, we went shopping yesterday, partly for Xmas presents for kids at the family gathering next weekend, the chemist & the supermarket. She fared well although she apologised for being unable to help unpack after we arrived back home.

We have changed our ISP for a number of reasons so now she is advising, from her old address, all & sundry in her address book. Unfortunately, yesterday she attempted to BCC: a large number in one go & seems to have locked the SMTP server in consequence; now she is doing it the hard way with web mail.

Chapter 205 - Left It Too Late

"I left it too late" she said, standing on the Wii board which kept saying "I can't find you" because her tremors, although small in amplitude, prevented Wii from finding a steady measurement of her weight. So I stood on the board to trick it, then she was able to do the stepping routine. She was unable to function well enough to complete her other exercise that she does routinely when she is "on". Around 9am she was far from "on". After a little rest she asked for the treadmill, something neither of us has used in months. So she did a few minutes on it and left it breathless.

Since my medical procedure back in June neither of us has regularly used the Wii. This past week I have forced myself to do so, then I find she also applies herself. Not that I don't need it!

Last week she clutched her way around a doorway, then called for help. I gave her one hand which she fiercely held, then when I offered another, she said "No, I must hold something solid." Once away from the doorway I helped her to her walker.

At her Monday physio group she was advised that perhaps she should perhaps establish contact with a neurologist (some years since her last one retired) in case formal assistance is needed down the track. It will possibly be 6 months before she can arrange an appointment to see one.

She intermittently uses the Circulation Booster (the TENS machine for legs) when her legs ache. A few weeks ago she needed her seed pillow heated each night on going to bed, but the need has waned the last few nights.

The expensive mattress we bought for her several years ago has developed a hollow which bothers her. For a few nights a pillow was positioned beneath the mattress but she found that made her slip toward on end of the bed, so it was removed. I must retrieve her older mattress from the ceiling for her to try again. Perhaps we should just buy a new one.

She has not stitched in awhile; we have both been re-organising the sewing rooms. She has packed most of her dolls to give away. This morning after resting from the treadmill she began a small embroidery job.

Chapter 204 - Stressful Moments

I don't keep notes any more, so small incidents occur that are quickly forgotten as they become the usual common events of day-day living. Yesterday took us a step further along our path. I was in my dungeon when she called me on the CB. I found her standing, rear against the kitchen sink facing out toward the walker with tray that she uses to eat from and navigate around the house. Her hands reached behind gripping the edge of the sink. Her eyes were wide.

Our kitchen is a hollow square, at the end a window with sink below faces the street. The kitchen is about the usual 2 paces wide between oven, microwave and 'frig on one side and bench top, drawers & cupboards on the other. Small perhaps and enough for her to experience claustrophobic fear and a sense of imminent falling. She had frozen.

In casting my mind back, such small "rescues" are becoming more frequent. We are tending towards always being physically close together, even though we have the CB's and mobiles. Probably pretty good I suppose after 19 years of coping.

Chapter 203 - Just Another Hill

I have difficulty motivating myself to record these notes. Don't know why. There seems less importance about matters now. We have both ticked off another birthday. There is insufficient time to apply to anything; perhaps that's because we have been busy doing whatever. She had been doing a lot of embroidery and quilting, and I digitising & embroidery prior to taking the van south for a "holiday" after attending my high school re-union, almost a non-event after the prior two when the event catered for my years. This time I may as well have mingled at a super market. This time though she was able to attend with me as I only went to the day gatherings, avoided the church service, on the October long weekend. I had decided that I would not coerce her into visiting relatives and friends. She was very uneasy about driving around either of the home towns north & south of the border; the round-abouts bothered her mostly. A drive up-river one day was most stressful for her; the narrow country highway, winding its way up & down hills terrified her. So for a fortnight we sat around the van reading, shopped regularly, bought her a lap top for her birthday. Actually on her birthday we drove down the 4 lane to an art & craft festival at the town where Henry Handel Richardson once lived. We discovered a no-frills fish & chip shop in one of the side streets so celebrated her birthday with large servings that only needed to be wrapped in newspaper to add a touch of nostalgia. For the whole fortnight we had pondered going down south to see the grandchildren; I had resigned myself to going home instead when she decided the day before we were due to leave that she was up to the trip. The drive was good until the western ring road where there was widening of the roadway, which meant narrowing during construction so by the time we reached the far end we were both very frazzled. Then I drove into the wrongly chosen van park, far too compact for us and scraped the van on a white guide post intended to keep slobs like me off their precious grass. We had intended to stay a week but she decided she needed to return north in off-peak conditions so I was given a refund for 2 nights & we departed on the next Sunday morning. However, we had two enjoyable mornings & a whole day & evening with the family; four grandchildren in various stages of coming & going to school, uni & what else. The Friday was a holiday for the local show. On returning to the border town she suggested having the scrape to the van repaired there rather than attend to it after we returned home. That turned out to be a good idea as it only took a few hours one day. In the week following our return home some rellies in town in their van visited each day so our holiday seemed extended further. So now we have returned to normal, although we both seem worn & frayed. She is not moving very well, I am not sleeping well. We have decided that the van will be sold. The confines of the van toilet cause her much stress adjusting her clothing and in attempting to get out of it; holding on for grim death around the doorway and the grab handles which are no longer as convenient as they once were. Interestingly though, the shower, the same size as the toilet room gives her little trouble, & we think that is because the glass panels & door allow her to see beyond & out so it is far less claustrophobic. This trip there was little discomfort & pain from her bed, as there has been in the past. I had put out the awning & annexe at the border so a lot of her time was spent there seated in her director's chair. Yesterday was her appointment to see the dentist I found for her several months ago. After an hour of examination & discussion the dentist (a woman, very competent) decided that she can probably treat her without hospital admission so the next appointment will be at the end of December. Meanwhile, a visit to the X-ray place for a jaw scan because the type available at the dentist's cannot cope with tremors what with things in her mouth. This morning has been the first time in many weeks that we both did a full session of exercise on the Wii. She found the van too constrictive for the Wii this time & in consequence we have both become somewhat lazy. Enough rambling.