Chapter 4 - A Simple Task
I shouted at her yesterday, she says. I thought I spoke sternly, forcefully. She was having difficulty copying files from a CD into another folder on her laptop. Comprehending a hierarchy of folders seems difficult for her and not made easier for her by a proprietary embroidery application display designed to make it easier for users to locate designs. This is a recurring problem for her. She seems to be concentrating more on filing designs than stitching these days. She tells others that once I "go" she will have to give up using a computer because she will have no one to call on for help. I need to ease her from such dependence, haven't succeeded in all these years though.
Last night she watched an ABC programme about aged care. I caught something about an 86 year old being digitally raped, but, being busy with other things, I did not watch it. I don't think "digitally" referred to high technology either. She is concerned this morning that if ever she ended in an institution she would suffer, unable to lay comfortably in bed. "Nursing staff can't attend to anyone often enough to be able to help me in bed" she says.
Getting in & out of bed is no great problem is it? This is how she does it. She stands on the left side of the bed. The other side of the bed is too close to the window to provide her sufficient personal space. She faces the side of the bed. "Why don't you get into bed?" after she stands motionless for some 30 seconds (a long time in the middle of a simple action). "I'm thinking about how to do it" she says. Then she very slowly lifts her left knee onto the edge of the bed, hands now in the centre. Some seconds later her right leg is raised. She is now on hands & knees facing across the bed. Very carefully she moves each knee a few inches, scared that she may fall off the other side (we have king-sized singles; were all kings large?). Then she gently topples sideways onto her left shoulder & if she has gauged her position correctly, her head will be on the pillow. Her legs are a different matter. While in a horizontal position, her legs are immobilised. They tend to remain glued together, unable to flex or stretch. With the aid of a bed pole on the left hand side of the bed or a monkey bar & chain above (definitely not for erotic positioning) she may be able to remove twisted feelings in her trunk. Her left arm is often jammed beneath her. Should I be awake & present, I may be needed to rotate either her shoulders or hips slightly to untwist her. On a good night she may exit & enter bed several times & often the activity inspires a trip to the loo as well. Sometimes she has me pull downwards on her legs, or push her bottom more centrally onto the bed. She fears falling out. Sometimes fears she is too close to the edge when from where I stand she is in the very centre of the bed - a slight push one way or the other dispels the feeling. Thus she spends much of her time in bed on her left side which results in hip & back pain. This morning she wished to be on her right side to relieve hip pain. After rotating her from left to right side she decided she was too twisted. The only solution is to get out of bed & start again. I went to have breakfast. When I returned asking whether she was comfortable, "No, I'll try laying on my back". After some pushing & shoving she was in position, with her knees raised. "Put you knees down". "If I do pain shoots down my right leg". I left her to check my email & write this. I just went to check on her - her bed was made (that means I must pull mine into shape today). I found her in the back room sorting chemist prescriptions. "I couldn't get comfortable. I got out & in again. I couldn't get un-twisted. It was hopeless". She came out to our document shredder to dispose of some old cash register dockets, still with the ABC programme on her mind. "No wonder they drug people in those hostels. How could nursing staff provide enough attention to make me comfortable? When I was in hospital (in the maternity section for lack of space elsewhere) with my inured foot the nurses were great but they were not able to come every time I became uncomfortable!" Thanks ABC - your reality reporting has raised fears before we need them - a case of piddling before our water comes.
Yesterday, down at the Cottage, I watched her inter-act with the "clients". So easy, smiling, happy & involved in small talk with all & sundry. I envy her.
By the way, if you are interested in reading about my earlier "Progression", have a look at
http://24july2005.blogspot.com/
for a description of our recent bad past.
Remember that these blogs are reverse time order; last-in-first-out (LIFO) , which to me makes it devilish difficult to read postings in order of oldest to newest, so in this new blog I give each posting a chapter number.
Last night she watched an ABC programme about aged care. I caught something about an 86 year old being digitally raped, but, being busy with other things, I did not watch it. I don't think "digitally" referred to high technology either. She is concerned this morning that if ever she ended in an institution she would suffer, unable to lay comfortably in bed. "Nursing staff can't attend to anyone often enough to be able to help me in bed" she says.
Getting in & out of bed is no great problem is it? This is how she does it. She stands on the left side of the bed. The other side of the bed is too close to the window to provide her sufficient personal space. She faces the side of the bed. "Why don't you get into bed?" after she stands motionless for some 30 seconds (a long time in the middle of a simple action). "I'm thinking about how to do it" she says. Then she very slowly lifts her left knee onto the edge of the bed, hands now in the centre. Some seconds later her right leg is raised. She is now on hands & knees facing across the bed. Very carefully she moves each knee a few inches, scared that she may fall off the other side (we have king-sized singles; were all kings large?). Then she gently topples sideways onto her left shoulder & if she has gauged her position correctly, her head will be on the pillow. Her legs are a different matter. While in a horizontal position, her legs are immobilised. They tend to remain glued together, unable to flex or stretch. With the aid of a bed pole on the left hand side of the bed or a monkey bar & chain above (definitely not for erotic positioning) she may be able to remove twisted feelings in her trunk. Her left arm is often jammed beneath her. Should I be awake & present, I may be needed to rotate either her shoulders or hips slightly to untwist her. On a good night she may exit & enter bed several times & often the activity inspires a trip to the loo as well. Sometimes she has me pull downwards on her legs, or push her bottom more centrally onto the bed. She fears falling out. Sometimes fears she is too close to the edge when from where I stand she is in the very centre of the bed - a slight push one way or the other dispels the feeling. Thus she spends much of her time in bed on her left side which results in hip & back pain. This morning she wished to be on her right side to relieve hip pain. After rotating her from left to right side she decided she was too twisted. The only solution is to get out of bed & start again. I went to have breakfast. When I returned asking whether she was comfortable, "No, I'll try laying on my back". After some pushing & shoving she was in position, with her knees raised. "Put you knees down". "If I do pain shoots down my right leg". I left her to check my email & write this. I just went to check on her - her bed was made (that means I must pull mine into shape today). I found her in the back room sorting chemist prescriptions. "I couldn't get comfortable. I got out & in again. I couldn't get un-twisted. It was hopeless". She came out to our document shredder to dispose of some old cash register dockets, still with the ABC programme on her mind. "No wonder they drug people in those hostels. How could nursing staff provide enough attention to make me comfortable? When I was in hospital (in the maternity section for lack of space elsewhere) with my inured foot the nurses were great but they were not able to come every time I became uncomfortable!" Thanks ABC - your reality reporting has raised fears before we need them - a case of piddling before our water comes.
Yesterday, down at the Cottage, I watched her inter-act with the "clients". So easy, smiling, happy & involved in small talk with all & sundry. I envy her.
By the way, if you are interested in reading about my earlier "Progression", have a look at
http://24july2005.blogspot.com/
for a description of our recent bad past.
Remember that these blogs are reverse time order; last-in-first-out (LIFO) , which to me makes it devilish difficult to read postings in order of oldest to newest, so in this new blog I give each posting a chapter number.
posted by Kilpike | 7:15 am
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